Wednesday, September 12, 2007

omnipotent friendship

"My friends are always there for me." Cliche? yes. True? oh yes.

Sometimes life is exhausting. Even on a break from life [read: no job, no apartment, no classes], somehow life finds its way back into my path in the form of a collective mountain of my past in the basement. Oh yes, the seemingly never-ending mass that I have accumulated in my 21 years as a card-carrying packrat. Yeah, okay, I hear you: "Okay Natalie, you don't throw anything away...get on with this so I can eat my hot pocket!"

So, I was sorting through plastic tub #1 of 6...in that particular corner...calculating the sentimental value of an 11 year old House of Blues shirt. I'm keeping my composure in considering just tossing out my 9th grade science folder without going through it page by page--I'm even dealing with the scattered kitty litter digging into the soles of my feet (thanks jake). Despite being in a chilly basement deciding the fate of all my er...worldly(?) possessions, everything is pretty okay. I get to an envelope addressed to my freshman dorm from my mom--probably from the first letter she sent me--obviously I must have some attachment to the envelope itself because it doesn't even house it's original contents. I open it up, of course: A snapshot of me unpacking in my dorm, a note from my dad (and cheri, sadie, nikki, cerea, haley, nemo, speedy, chip & baby. oh, and snoopy and tails), some sketches I did of tattoo ideas, an IMAX ticket stub, a paper football, and two yellowed pieces of cardstock.

"Thank you for being here to help celebrate this special day"
May 13, 1945

The two pieces of cardstock were copies of my grandparent's wedding original announcement given out at their 60th wedding anniversary. I read through the details of my grandma's wedding gown...

"The bride was in a gown fashioned with a white satin bodice with a marquisette lace-trimmed yoke and long sleeves and a marquisette skirt. Her finger-tip veil was arranged with a halo and she carried white carnations with an orchid center"

The find made me smile, seeing my grandparents so young, gazing away from the camera, my grandma with one arm around his shoulder, the other barely touching his other hand, it's a special thing to see. Not only is it sweet, but it also supports my notion that saving things can be worthwhile. Seeing my grandpa smiling in his US Navy get-up...choked me up. Time in life is precious and can't be held on to...no matter how many plastic tubs and cardboard boxes that you line the walls with--you can't go back.

So there I am, sniffling in the chilly basement, my feed stinging from cat litter shrapnel, wishing I was anywhere but there. Wishing I was spending time in the present rather than standing in the musky boxes of my past, feeling a tad pathetic. One of those moments that for no good reason, everything just feels like it's coming unglued--no matter how irrational it is--it just seems like you're caving in on yourself. I stuff the papers back into the envelope, still crying and feeling scummy when I look at the paper football. It's addressed simply and sappily


"My Love"

Who ever sent me paper football-notes? I unfold it assuming it's . Laughing through my tears. What I said about omnipotent friends? Thank you JJ.




No matter where I am, no matter what's going on...findings like this remind me that no matter how much cat litter is digging into my feet, no matter how dislocated I feel from my life's plan...


...my friend's are everywhere
...everything's gonna be alright.



Eric Prydz- Call on Me



Go hug someone.

Posted by nabero @ 6:49 PM

quotable...

"You have to choose the places you don't walk away from"
-Joan Didion

Reading...

Listening...